It could be worse, I suppose
March 6, 2007
What a crap hole day. I had such a good weekend, you know. I decided that I needed to get more connected with myself after the fair this weekend so I went to the library on Sundayfor some books on meditation. Read one book that came with a CD so I practiced the meditation, did some laundry, cleaned the house, finished another book I’d been reading. It was a great sunday. At the library I picked up this Pilates DVD and I was set to get up in the morning and do Pilates and meditate. Good way to start the day.
I should have known things were going to go downhill when, half way through the Pilates video I got up, sat on the couch and smoked a cigarette and watched the rest of the video. I felt bad after but rather than beat myself up I just kept saying, Rome wasn’t built in a day, Rome wasn’t built in a day. But if you think about it, had the slaves stopped working to have a smoke they would have been beaten to death. So, you know, that’s a pretty stupid thing to say.
Got to work and around 10 I remembered that I’d left something in my car. I park 4 blocks away from work so it’s a pain to go to the car anyway but half way there I was acosted by a clearly mentally disturbed homeless man. He followed me all the way to my car saying really nice things like “I don’t beat women, just so you know” and “boy you’re lookin’ real good” and “I’m going to follow you back to work so I know where to find you again” and he asked me what my first and last name was, how old I was, did I like his tennis shoes that he got at Wal-Mart? There was no one around by the way. Topeka is generally just buildings and parking lots, not many people out wandering around. Just me and Mr. Creepy. I drove back to the office, leaving my new friend in the dust.
I was pretty upset about the whole thing when I got back to my desk. I mean, this happens all the time. This place is filled to the brim with homeless crazy people. The story goes that when they closed Menningers they just opened the doors and proclaimed, “BE FREE CLINICALLY INSANE PEOPLE! THE CITY IS YOURS!” I think it’s dispicable, but today I realized that sometimes you have to choose personal safety over compassion.
My thoughts on this situation didn’t last for long as I was called into a meeting with my boss to explain why my call numbers were so low. I had no real explaination except the obvious truth. I don’t like my job. I don’t like calling people, I don’t like talking to doctors, I don’t like sitting on my ever expanding ass (the reason for the Pilates video, you see). And I told her so. She told me she didn’t like my henna tattoo.
I need some cheering up.