January 31, 2007
January 30, 2007
is on my mind tonight.
I figured it would happen sooner or later. I thought my reaction would be much more dramatic, much more, well, violent. I would wake from dreams where I was throwing chairs and various kitchen items through windows or into walls. I didn’t do any of that. I just sat down and cried.
We were young and stupid. We married too quickly; we didn’t know what we wanted. But, we loved eachother and thought that was all we needed. That and a hefty dose of Star Wars. He was a freak about Star Wars. And philosophy. He wanted to name our first son Soren.
We wanted kids. At least I knew I did and I thought he did. And we tried for several months. Then one day he woke up and said no. No kids now. No kids ever. I called a therapist. And after a year of it we agreed to go our seperate ways.
And even after four years I still miss how he made me laugh and how the house smelled like cherry pipe tobacco. And I remember too how he could make me cry. Just like Saturday, and Sunday and today.
And he’s so excited and so proud now that his new wife is pregnant.
January 29, 2007
A project for work last week kept me on the rooftop of my office taking photographs of my co-workers. I thought the outcome was great; they all thought they were hideously ugly. I am always amazed at how hateful people are toward themselves.
January 28, 2007